Artificiality
by HVK
Summary: Princess Bubblegum believes that natural things are stupid more or less because they are natural, and attempts to get her point across to Flame Princess as they are doing the science thing. Flame Princess doesn't really go for it, but listens regardless.


Disclaimer: I don't own Adventure Time.

* * *

As the princesses of the Candy Kingdom and Fire Kingdom watched the cultured bio-organisms slowly rise inside their containers, Bubblegum told Flame Princess, so eager to learn and so innocent to the ways of the world, "Artifice is beautiful, but natural growth is just… dumb."

Flame Princess forced herself to turn away from the fascinating growth going on before her, a growth that seemed almost… directed from inside. She looked at Bubblegum, the older woman looking interested in Flame Princess' response. At this point, the young fire elemental had learned better than to simply say 'what?' or 'how can that be?'. All questions were valid, but facing the good questions with silly rambling about what was or was not possible was for silly people.

Flame Princess simply said, "Why?"

Bubblegum beamed. This was an appropriate question. "Natural life, evolution, and growth," she said. "Is undirected. It is things that happen over a long course of time, without any apparent mind to guide or shape them. I don't know if there is a greater force beyond our knowledge, and since it cannot be proven one way or the other, it is not appropriate to question if Glob does things or not in scientific inquiries. But, for all intents and purposes, the results are so buggy. So dysfunctional. So full of errors."

Flame Princess blinked. "You mean things that naturally evolved are wrong?"

"No, no!" Bubblegum waved her hands, warding away such unfortunate implications. "When you look at the process of such natural growth, though, it's… it's just dumb! So unorganized! The entire world was made, from start to finish, by processes with end results that only continue because they failed less than those that came before."

"That's not really fair," Flame Princess countered. "Outside forces also shaped these things; mass extinction events, human wars, and so forth."

Bubblegum inclined her head, gracefully accepting the criticism. "I will have to include human battle, and the Great Mushroom War, as aspects of natural development, but at least they have the dignity of collective will behind them."

"Why?"

"Because, Flame Princess! There is so much romantization of natural things. 'Natural law', they saw. Or something is wrong because it goes against 'nature'. But that's the thing. Nature is merely a process. It is only what previously exists prior to the bounty of sapient thought. Nature has no moral dimension. Organic matter has no will. The planet doesn't care what happens to it or what exists upon it, it simply _is_. 'Natural' is just a romantic thought… but then romanticism isn't something I have much faith in."

Flame Princess had her own opinions on that matter. But she withheld her criticism on that front; interrupting Bubblegum when she was on a full-blown rant was rarely wise.

"Scientific and technological capacity, however," Bubblegum said, her whole composure brightening. "That is a different matter. Artificiality has _purpose_. It is a superior advancement upon natural development, being more than mindless survival. Sapient thought directs it, and by such direction, it is simply better."

"I am not entirely sure about that," Flame Princess said warily.

"Don't be silly! Why, think of it; flesh is split by steel. All the skill in battle in the world will not save you from a blade aimed at your throat; before technological power, all the might of the flesh is as so much fuel before the flames." Flame Princess brightened at this flattery. "And this even works for living beings born of intentional shaping, benefitting from planning and implementation, why, just look at what I did with Finn-"

Bubblegum stopped in mid-word.

"What about Finn?" Flame Princess said, alarmed.

Bubblegum started to say something. She stopped. She shook her head. "It's… nothing, not important."

"What were you saying?"

Bubblegum turned to her for a moment. Flame Princess shrank back, dimming at the sight of that face; an expression of something beloved lost, and then found again, of plans with an edge of romance and shaping the subject into an ideal consort, torn asunder by unforeseen complications, and so much repressed hurt, at a sincere affection buried under the greater responsibilities to her kingdom.

Absently, Bubblegum patted a test tube at her side. Inside it was a single blonde hair, like a knight's favor to his lady. She smiled, as brittle as broken glass, and Flame Princess bowed her head. "Never mind," she said quickly.

"Thank you," Bubblegum said quietly.

There was a tapping sound, that quite distracted them both. They turned aside to the containment units housing the bio-mass.

Within, where there had been mere algae, there were several small creatures. Lumpy, with only the barest essence of shape, shining from within with dozens of lights reflecting through their faceted bodies, the algae creatures looked up at them, eyes wide and mouths open in an infantile expression of numb interest.

One of them put up a stubby paw to the glass. It made a faint keening noise, a hopeful noise.

"You see?" Bubblegum said reverently as Flame Princess, awed, put a hand to the tiny creature's own, the glass shielded so it could not burn. She'd had a hand in making this creature, and so when they touched but for a barrier of glass, it was with the first contact between creator and creation. "Artificial life is life all the same, but intentionally made."

Flame Princess could say nothing. Looking at this small creature, staring up at her with something like worshipful wonder, she felt a sudden thrilled awe at the realization that she had helped make these creatures. She had _made_ them. And they were looking at her with something that could only be-

"Sapience," she whispered. Not only a mind that was self-aware, but a mind that _knew_.

Bubblegum crossed her arms. She looked insufferably smug.

"Okay, okay," Flame Princess said. "Making life is pretty cool."

"Told you so!"

"But tone it down on the 'created things are better than natural evolution'."

"Must you spoil my fun?"

"Yes."

"That was a rhetorical question!"

'Meh, don't care."

Both girls giggled.


End file.
